Let's talk about dating...

Sex.

Hi Light. How are you doing? I hope you are doing well. Let's talk about dating.

“God calls us to swim against the flow. It will not be easy, and we may find ourselves standing alone, but it will always be the right path to follow.”

One of the topics that deeply engages my thoughts is relationships, and yet, ironically, it also stirs a sense of apprehension within me. Perhaps because I cannot answer affirmatively to questions such as, "Have you experienced dating? Have you known the complexities of intimate partnerships?" Nevertheless, of late, God has been gently reminding me that my worthiness is not contingent upon societal norms, but instead lies in understanding His unchanging standards, outlined in His timeless Word. Over the years, I have found myself unconventionally advising others on relationship matters due to my extensive reading and the wisdom that God has bestowed upon me. This role has become more prominent recently, possibly due to the perception others hold of me.

Just last week, I expressed gratitude to my younger self for learning to forgive the past and allowing God's love to embrace her. A few years ago, I found myself entangled in what I thought was a relationship, only to discover that it never truly existed. I was never in a relationship. During that period, I experienced emotional and psychological turmoil, the aftermath of which was painful. However, as I grew closer to God and developed a profound relationship with Him, memories of that chapter resurfaced.

The Holy Spirit graciously revealed to me my shortcomings and the poor choices I had made. Even though I didn't engage in sex and had refrained from engaging in physical intimacy, I felt a burden of guilt, convinced that I had squandered my time and resources. I had allowed myself to fall prey to infatuation without exercising control, and in response, I distanced myself from all matters related to relationships. Alas, I failed to recognize that God did not condemn me.

In this present month, I have delved into two enlightening books, "Woman Evolve" by Sarah Jakes Roberts and "Waiting and Dating" by Myles Munroe. Through the Holy Spirit's guidance, these readings have illuminated essential truths that God wants not only me but every young individual of this generation and beyond to comprehend. Among these truths, one stands unwavering: God's standards for relationships remain unchangeable. Secondly, even if we have strayed from His standards along life's journey, His grace and mercy are boundless and ever-available to restore us.

The deeper my connection with God grows, the more fervently I desire to prioritize His Kingdom. As I seek His will above all else, I discover the purpose, wisdom, and ministry He has ordained for my life and destiny. Consequently, my vision for the person I wish to share my life with becomes clearer. While it is natural to yearn for companionship and a romantic partner, it is vital to understand the true essence of dating. Have we equipped ourselves with the necessary knowledge to navigate the complexities of pre-marital relationships? How do we handle seemingly harmless acts that may lead to sin, such as kissing, cuddling, or cohabiting? It is possible that we do not intend to engage in sexual activities, yet we partake in behaviours that may ultimately lead us astray.

Personally, I do not believe God has specifically called me, at least not yet, to address the intricacies of sex and the pitfalls of relationships. However, when God assigned me the task of this Newsletter in December 2022, He entrusted me with the responsibility of discussing matters that profoundly impact the purpose and journey of young souls. When it comes to dating, an essential question often remains unanswered: "Am I truly ready to date?" The reality is that without comprehending our standards and purpose, we might be swayed by anything that comes our way.

We must resolve within our spirits that we shall never compromise God's standards, even if it means relinquishing potential dates. Knowing our standards unequivocally allows us to make informed decisions that align with our destinies. Learning to be content in our own company before seeking a partner is equally vital. We should only be willing to embark on a relationship with someone who shares the same commitment to abstaining from sex before marriage, and we must be steadfast in our faith, willing to say no to any temptation, even if it means losing the person we perceive as our ideal match (1 Cor 6:18-20).

I acknowledge that adhering to these principles is no easy feat, and thus, I implore you not to rely solely on your strength but to draw power from the Holy Spirit. We live in an era where many disregard these values, but do not allow fear of judgment to hinder them from doing what is right. Even if others fail to understand, what truly matters is your alignment with God's understanding. You must remain committed to fulfilling God's will for His children. If you have made mistakes or find yourself caught in unfavourable circumstances, remember that God's forgiveness is boundless, and He will not hold your transgressions against you when you genuinely seek His pardon.

Make a resolute decision to align your life with God's Word and embrace the promise He holds over your life. Sometimes we might indeed be aware of what is right but struggle to act accordingly. Yes, sometimes we know better but don't do better. Nevertheless, God can mend us, no matter how broken we perceive ourselves to be. Surrender yourself to Him, for every aspect of your life, including your sexuality, is interconnected with who you will become. Refusing God's word can have a profound impact on the rest of your beautiful journey.

Dear Light, I acknowledge that the path ahead may be arduous, but remember that God knows this too, and He has provided a means to help us. By seeking the assistance of the Holy Spirit, we gain access to the strength we need to resist sinful tendencies and stay grounded in prayer. In God's eyes, the past has passed away, and through His boundless love, He offers us a new beginning. Embrace this fresh start and inscribe upon it the story of your life, authored in His love. Know that I cherish you, and my prayers are with you on this journey. I love to read your letters; so, write back to me if you can. I love you. Have a great week ahead.